I'm writing again

I used to write faithfully every night since fifth grade. It would be the ins and outs of my day - what we had for dinner, how much homework I had, what test I studied for, which charming high school guy I liked at the moment. In college it got a little more serious - the life questions started, like Do I really like this major, and Wow it's hard to live with a total and complete stranger, Now the boyfriend interests mean a little bit more. Grad school... it was all about Devon... when's he going to propose!? Are we ready to get married? Eventually... yes we were, and we are :) For 3 months and one day, to be exact!

I have probably 35 journals at my mother's house, filled to the brim with words, and five more like them here with me in Madison. Those five are the more recent ones, of course, filled with literature not appropriate for Mom's potentially wandering eyes as she cleans out my old bedroom to paint and redecorate! At least I hope I didn't leave anything juicy behind...

Each one was different. I loved picking out the next journal. I would always use them in the order that I got them, even if some were gifts... I had to be fair to the little books, of course. One had a bright green tree frog on the front. One had a red barn with yellow fields... I bought that one when I was in Sweden. One had a pink purse and little yellow and purple high heels to boot... from Grandma.

I started a journal specially when Devon and I got engaged. I wrote about the excitement and the planning and the gown shopping and the flower choosing and the invitation making and the showers. I spent the entire honeymoon writing about the wedding day! Its pages took me EXACTLY to the end of our wedding reception.

I have a new, blank journal, its fresh pages waiting to be filled. It says in small letters on the front: Bride. It's from my mother-in-law. I want to write in it so badly but I'm so nervous that I won't be faithful, that I won't catch every detail, that I just don't have time to get out a pen and fill its fresh pages with my thoughts. I never thought I'd resort to a blog to "write." It seems traitorous to post my thoughts on its boring electronic facade, when I have such beautiful fresh enticing pages awaiting me to catch every little detail, every blunder- there's no backspace when you're writing.

But I'm giving it a shot because some "writing" is better than no writing.